What a clitoral orgasm actually is
A clitoral orgasm is the peak moment of pleasure the body reaches in response to clitoral stimulation. It starts with a growing sense of sensation and arousal in the vulva, and is marked by a number of rhythmic pulses and contractions in the vulva and vagina. Orgasms feel different to everyone, but a lot of people describe the moment of orgasm as feeling like a peak, a bubble bursting, or a strong release of tension.
When the clitoris is stimulated for a sustained period of time, blood flow to the area increases and the clitoral glans and surrounding area begins to swell and become sensitive. This can take anywhere from a few minutes to an hour. After enough stimulation, an orgasm can occur. After an orgasm, the blood flow to the area returns to normal, the swelling in the clitoris and vulva reduces, and the pelvic floor muscles relax. It’s totally normal at this point to feel happy, relaxed, sleepy, still aroused, or even emotional. Orgasms are different for everyone, and there’s no one ‘right’ way to have one.
Clitoral vs. vaginal orgasm: is there really a difference?
Many people talk about vaginal and clitoral orgasms as though they’re two completely different things, although this may not be quite right. The internal parts of the clitoris, such as the crura and the bulbs, sit within the body and close to the vagina, which means that the clitoris can be indirectly stimulated through penetration. Some researchers have argued that this means vaginal orgasms are clitoral orgasms at their core: one study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine used ultrasounds to discover that the internal parts of the clitoris are stimulated during vaginal penetration, which supports this argument.
Still, the debate isn’t fully settled. A paper published in the same journal features a debate on this topic between six experts in the field of sexual health, and surprisingly they can’t come to a consensus on whether clitoral orgasms are different from vaginal orgasms.
Our take is that everyone’s experiences with pleasure and their bodies are unique. It doesn’t matter if clitoral and vaginal orgasms feel the same to you or totally different, as long as you’re enjoying the experience you’re having with your body. Still, we’re curious to see where future research in this field might go.
Why most people can’t orgasm from penetration alone
If you’ve never been able to orgasm solely from penetration, you’re definitely not alone. In fact, you’re in the majority! We conducted a study in 2025 that found over 92% of people need clitoral stimulation to orgasm. Only 31% said they could orgasm from penetration alone, which really makes clear how important the clitoris is to people’s orgasms and pleasure.
Ultimately, the reason why so many people need clitoral stimulation to orgasm is because of anatomy. Penetration can certainly feel pleasurable, but the clitoris is so densely packed with nerve endings and so receptive to stimulation that it ends up being the main focus for many people
What a clitoral orgasm can feel like
There’s no single, right way for a clitoral orgasm to feel, and many people describe their orgasms very differently. Orgasms can also feel different depending on the time of day, how tired or stressed you are, what kind of stimulation you’re receiving, and what mood you’re in. How you orgasm today might feel totally different to how you orgasm next week!
Still, here are some common things that a clitoral orgasm might feel like:
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Waves of pulsing sensation
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A sharp and sudden peak
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A bubble bursting
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A tickling sensation
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Warmth concentrated in your pelvis
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A build-up of tension followed by release
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Some people feel their orgasms concentrated on their vulva or pelvis, other people feel a warmth or release that spreads throughout their body. Some orgasms are very intense, while others are much milder. Everyone’s orgasm will be different, so what matters is that it feels pleasurable and enjoyable to you.
How to have a clitoral orgasm
Whether you’re trying to have your first orgasm or your hundredth, a few things will always help. To begin with, give yourself time and space. Arousal builds gradually and you’re generally more likely to feel comfortable enough to orgasm if you’re not rushing, distracted, or thinking about other things. Once you’ve found a type of stimulation that you enjoy, stick with it or change to what feels better instead of doing what you think you should like. Lube can reduce friction and help certain types of stimulation more pleasurable, especially if you’re using a toy. And, as much as you can, try not to focus on orgasm as a goal. If it happens, great, but if it doesn’t, you’ve still had an experience that’s (hopefully!) pleasurable and relaxing.
If you’ve never had one
For a lot of people, masturbation or solo play can be a great way to work out what feels good. It’s low-pressure, private, and you can take as much time as you need.
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Using a vibrator for the first time can be intimidating, but also really exciting! Having total agency over your sexual pleasure is a really powerful thing.
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How do you use a vibrator, anyway? Television and movies make it seem like everyone’s an expert, but are they really? (Hint: they’re not!)
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If you used to, but now you can’t
If you used to be able to orgasm frequently but now you can’t, you’re definitely not alone. It’s super common for people to experience a dip in sexual pleasure or a loss of ability to orgasm due to stress, hormones, pregnancy and birth, medication changes, or menopause.
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Stress can definitely affect how we experience pleasure. If you can’t reduce your stress, we reckon it’s time to switch up your intimacy.
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Menopause is a big change, but it doesn’t necessarily mean you lose interest in sex and pleasure.
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Sex and pleasure can feel different after childbirth. Your post-partum experience doesn’t have to lack intimacy, though.
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Where toys fit in
Toys can be an excellent way to discover, or rediscover, what makes you orgasm. They can be a reliable and consistent way to experience pleasure, because that’s what they’re literally designed to do!
Vibrators offer direct stimulation to the clitoris, vulva, and other erogenous zones, and they’re easy to adjust and experiment with to discover what you like. Air pulse toys are a little different: they offer contactless stimulation which can be great if you find direct touch too intense, but they’re designed for use around the clitoris only so aren’t quite as flexible as a vibrator. Vibrators and air pulse toys are different but neither is better than the other, so your best option is whatever you prefer.
When to talk to someone
Everyone occasionally has difficulty reaching orgasm, and it’s absolutely normal to temporarily experience changes in the way you experience pleasure. However, if you’re concerned about any changes in your body, it’s causing you distress, you’re experiencing pain, or if you feel unable to orgasm no matter what, we recommend speaking to a GP or similar medical professional.
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Anorgasmia (but we actually like to refer to it as pre-orgasmia!) refers to a persistent inability to reach orgasm even when you feel aroused. A medical professional can help rule out, or address, any physical or hormonal factors that may contribute to anorgasmia.
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Pain during sex is also known as dyspareunia, and it can be addressed by a medical professional who may look at any physical factors that contribute to pain during sex. A psychologist or sex therapist may be able to help address any emotional or mental causes of dyspareunia.
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