The short answer
To use a clitoral vibrator, position it over the vulva and turn it on. Stick to the lowest vibration setting to begin with, and turn it up as you become more comfortable. Rather than trying to place it directly on the clitoris and press down, move it around the area and through the clitoral hood to find a sensation that feels enjoyable. Using a small amount of lube can help prevent any uncomfortable tugging or pulling, and can make the vibrations more enjoyable.
Where to put it
A lot of people assume that a clit vibrator should be used directly on the clit, but that’s not always the case. The clitoral glans is so dense with nerves that for some people, direct stimulation can be uncomfortable. Clit vibrators are versatile, and can be used a number of different ways depending on what you prefer!
Directly on the clitoral glans
As the name indicates, clit vibrators can be used directly on the clit. This offers plenty of strong sensations that can be really pleasurable, but may also be quite intense if you’re using a vibrator for the first time, more sensitive, or not fully aroused yet. Lube can be useful when using a vibrator on the clitoris because it reduces friction and can make the vibrations on the clit much more pleasurable.
To the side of the clitoris
If direct stimulation is too intense, try using the vibrator on either side of the clitoral glans. This can be a good way to experiment with sensation, vibration, and pressure without directly touching the clit. It can still feel really pleasurable because it stimulates the part of the clitoris that sits under the skin.
On the clitoral hood
The clitoral hood is the small piece of skin that sits above the clitoris, and usually covers it. Putting your vibrator against the hood rather than directly on the clit can be a good way to receive some vibrations and stimulations while avoiding direct contact. Often when the body is aroused the clitoral hood retracts, so be aware that depending on your mood and arousal level your clitoral hood may sometimes be smaller than normal
Pressure, movement, and pacing
If pleasure starts to plateau, you might assume you need to turn up the vibrations or press harder. But that’s not always the case. Switch things up and try side-to-side or up-and-down motions with the vibe, draw little circles with it, or reposition it until you find a new spot that feels pleasurable. You can also try building up the sensation gradually by starting on the lowest intensity setting and turning it up, rather than starting high and trying to maintain that setting the whole time.
For some people, finding the right spot and staying there until orgasm is key, but if you’re using a new toy or still working out what feels good to you, it can be beneficial to try some new techniques. Sometimes pacing yourself, incorporating some movement, and experimenting with different levels of pressure can be more pleasurable than just sticking to one setting or intensity level.
If direct stimulation feels too intense
If touching the clit directly feels too intense, try stimulating it through the hood instead. The hood contains nerve endings so it won’t feel entirely numb, and it will also help lessen the intensity of clit stimulation. Stimulating the area around the clitoral glans can also work well, as the parts of the clit that are underneath the skin can still respond to pressure and touch this way too.
If you’re using a toy for clit stimulation like a vibrator or an air toy, use it on the lowest setting or intensity first. We also recommend using lube with toys, even if they’re not penetrating toys, because lube can help to reduce uncomfortable feelings like friction, tugging, and pinching.
Spending longer building up to direct touch can also be really beneficial. Focus on foreplay and give yourself time to feel more aroused so the vulva and clit can become more receptive to direct touch.
Vibration, or rhythmic bursts of air?
Vibrators and air toys create two very different sensations. A vibrator creates an intense rumbly, buzzy sensation that can feel stimulating no matter where you place the toy. An air toy uses rhythmic bursts of air directly onto the clitoris and clit hood that feel softer but can build up to be really pleasurable.
What does a vibrator feel like? A deep pressure, targeted vibes, or like having an electric hand hold you just right…depending on which one you choose.
Lube, and why it matters
Lube is often associated with penetration, because it can help make penetration less painful and reduce the risk of incidental tears. But even if you’re not having penetrative sex or using a penetrative toy, lube can be really beneficial.
Lube lessens friction that can be caused by using a toy against your bare skin, and reduces the chance of feeling tugging or pulling as you’re working out how you like to use the toy. It can also make vibrations and air pressure feel more pleasant and tingly!
When you’re choosing a lube, we recommend going for a water-based lube because they don’t degrade condoms or sex toys like silicone-based lubes do. We also recommend choosing a lube that doesn’t contain any additives like flavours or fragrances, as these can irritate the skin.
Without adequate lube, sex and masturbation can become painful. We can help you find the right lube for you.
Using a vibe with a partner
Using a clitoral vibrator with a partner can be fun and exciting. In partnered play it works the same way as it does during solo play or masturbation: it’s a fun additive rather than a total replacement.
It can be used during foreplay as a way to warm up or during penetration for extra stimulation. Some people might prefer to show their partner how to use it on them and demonstrate what feels good, while others might prefer to let their partner take the lead and discover what brings them pleasure.
A lot of people can’t come from penetration alone, so why not find out how a vibrator feels during sex?
If it feels like too much
Some people may find vibrations intense at first, especially with direct contact on the clitoral glans. If that's the case for you, try using the vibrator through underwear or fabric, start on the lowest vibration setting, or position it to the side of the clitoral glans or above the labia rather than directly on the clit. But if vibrations just don't feel good for you, it may be that vibrations aren’t your thing! And that’s ok too, you may be more of an air sensation person.
