The prostate is often called the male g-spot, and for good reason.
This little gland can be responsible for some massive feelings of pleasure. Some people even report that they experience longer-than-usual, absolutely-amazing, multiple orgasms when stimulating their prostate.
If we’ve piqued your attention, read on! We’re going to introduce you to the prostate and tell you where to find it, how to touch it, and how you can still enjoy prostate stimulation even if anal penetration isn’t on the menu.
Hang on, what’s the prostate?
The prostate is a small gland that sits inside the pelvis. It’s about the size of a walnut! Deep in your body, it wraps around the urethra—the pee hole—and helps push semen through the urethral tube during ejaculation1. Along with the testicles, the prostate also produces some of the fluids that are contained in semen2. The prostate is most easily accessed through the anus—the bum hole—but it can also be accessed through the perineum, which is the area of skin behind the testicles.
The prostate gland is usually found in people who have been born with penises, but it does have some similarity to a gland found in the vulva called the Skene’s gland. The Skene’s gland also wraps around the urethra, and is responsible for producing some of the fluid that leaves the urethra during squirting. When we stimulate our g-spot, we may also be indirectly stimulating the Skene’s gland.
We’ve talked about the Skene’s gland in our article on squirting, and today we’re going to talk about its ‘twin’: the prostate gland.
Why stimulate the prostate?
Put simply, because it can feel great. Some people like to stimulate their prostate during masturbation or sex because it can offer heightened pleasure sensations and even multiple orgasms. The prostate can be stimulated solo, with a partner, without a toy, with a toy, and from the inside and outside of the body—which is great if you’re curious about the prostate but not a fan of anal penetration.
We do want to address a common misconception about the prostate, though, and about anal play in general: the belief that if a person with a penis likes having his prostate or anus stimulated, they must be gay.
This simply isn’t true. Prostate and anal stimulation can feel great for anyone, and sexuality doesn’t play a role in how your body responds to pleasure! That having been said, we want to dispel this myth not because we think there’s something wrong with being gay, but because we feel this belief prevents a lot of people from enjoying prostate and anal stimulation. Butts are a gender- and sexuality-neutral zone—they’re for everyone to enjoy!
Okay, I’m interested. How do I get started?
There are two ways to experiment with prostate stimulation. The first involves stimulating the prostate externally—on the outside of the body. Here’s a step-by-step guide to everything you need to know.
- We reckon it’s a good idea to get relaxed and turned on before experimenting with prostate stimulation (or any new sexual practice). Do whatever you like to do to get turned on—grab your favourite toy, put on some erotica, or enlist your partner for some foreplay.
- Locate the external prostate by pressing gently inwards around the perineum (otherwise known as the gooch or taint). You may have to ‘feel around’ for a bit to work out what feels good, but you’ll know you’ve found it when you start to feel a sense of pleasure—or a sense of needing to pee. This is normal for prostate stimulation, so don’t be alarmed!
- Experiment with different ways of stimulating the prostate. You might try stroking, pushing, caressing, or using a toy like a vibrating wand. If you’re stimulating someone’s prostate, you can try kissing, licking, or sucking the area—whatever feels best for the person experiencing it.
The prostate can also be stimulated internally through the anus. It’s located a few inches inside the rectum, and will feel smooth and soft when touched. We recommend checking out our Guide to Anal before exploring internal prostate stimulation—there’s some pretty good advice in there, if we do say so ourselves!
Here’s our step-by-step guide to internal prostate stimulation.
- As with external stimulation, it helps to be relaxed and turned on beforehand. Indulge in some solo play or get into the pleasure zone with your partner—do whatever you like to do to feel chilled out and in the mood.
- Start with some lube. We recommend using lube whenever you’re putting something in the anus, even if it’s ‘just’ a finger or small toy. Use enough lube and then use some more, just to be safe—you can never have enough lube!
- Going super slowly, insert your finger into the anus and press forward in the direction of the penis. It might take a little while to locate your prostate, but once you start to feel waves of pleasure you’ll know you’ve hit the right spot. You might also feel the urge to pee—again, this is normal for prostate play! (If you’re using a toy like a dildo or butt plug to stimulate the prostate, make sure it has a flared base—toys without a flared base can get stuck in the anus, and can cause pain and damage to your body.)
- Experiment with how you like to stimulate your prostate. You might enjoy rubbing the prostate, pressing it firmly, or the feeling of having a finger or small toy in your anus might be enjoyable enough. If you’re stimulating your partner’s prostate, let them guide you and tell you how they like to be touched.
Many people who enjoy prostate stimulation report having multiple orgasms and orgasms that last longer, or feel better, than usual. We reckon that if you regularly experiment with prostate stimulation, you might experience this too—but for your first time, we suggest going in with no expectations and simply finding out what feels good to you. Like any other sex act, we rarely have our best time on our first time. It takes a while to develop the skill and knowledge required to really give yourself amazing pleasure!
I’m ready to step it up—how else can I stimulate the prostate?
If you’ve tried prostate stimulation and enjoyed it, here are some ways to level-up your game and increase your chances of having one of those earth-shaking prostate orgasms we’ve all read about.
- Incorporate other erogenous zones. Prostate play can feel great, but alone it isn’t always enough to make everyone climax. Try stimulating other parts of your body—like your penis, balls, or nipples—for extra pleasure.
- Try using a sex toy specifically made for prostate stimulation, or even a vibrating butt plug. These new sensations can spell new heights of pleasure! As always, never put anything in your anus that doesn’t have a flared base, a cord, or an easy method of removal.
- If you’re not into internal stimulation, experiment with using a vibrator on your perineum—a bullet vibe, wand, or even a vibrating cock ring can add new feelings of pleasure.
- For some people, anal penetration can be a really hot way to stimulate the prostate. A penis or strap-on can stimulate the prostate and all of those nerves in the anus, which can feel amazing.
- Experiment with edging. While not for everyone, edging—the act of approaching orgasm, backing off, and then approaching orgasm again—can be a powerfully sexy way to prolong pleasure and indulge in anticipation.
- Health Direct, ‘Male reproductive system, <https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/male-reproductive-system>, accessed 23 August 2021.
- National Center for Biotechnology Information, ‘How does the prostate work?’, accessed August 23 2021.