When we created our new Kink Kit with Abbie Chatfield, we knew that we had to include a blindfold. This little accessory can add some serious spice to your bedroom adventures! It can be used by anyone during practically any activity, and can help heighten tension, pleasure, and tactile sensations.
In case you haven’t picked up on it already, we’re big fans of the blindfold. But we also know that it can feel a bit intimidating to use for the first time, because surrendering your sense of sight is a big deal!
In today’s blog, we’ll go over the blindfold: how to use it, when to use it, and what you can do when you’ve got it on.
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Why a blindfold?
If you’ve never used a blindfold during sex or play before, allow us to give you the lowdown. Some people like to use blindfolds in the bedroom because wearing it makes them feel more sensitive to touch, and not being able to see what their partner is doing brings an element of suspense and anticipation. Similarly, some people enjoy it when their partner wears a blindfold because they like to be responsible for introducing different touches and sensations to them when they’re in a state of heightened sensitivity—and because they might enjoy knowing that their partner is excitedly anticipating what they’ll do next!
How do I use it?
A blindfold is simple and easy to use: just place it over your (or your partner’s) head and secure it over the eyes. It should be snug enough not to fall off, but not so tight that it causes any pain or discomfort.
A note on consent
As with anything intimate, consent is so important when using a blindfold. You should have an open and frank discussion with your partner prior to using the blindfold about what you’re both comfortable with, and what you’re not comfortable with—and you should respect those boundaries at all times. You should also make sure that consent is an ongoing conversation, which means checking in with your partner as you go: “Is this okay? Does this feel good? Would you like me to keep going?”.
Remember that although it can be fun using a blindfold because of the sense of anticipation it creates, your partner should still have some idea of what you’ll do together once the blindfold is on. They should be thinking, “Wow, will they use the crop on me next, or get our favourite toy out?” not, “I have no idea what’s about to happen”.
Where to start
If you’re new to using a blindfold, don’t worry! There are heaps of sexy and exciting things you can do to ease yourself into it. Here’s where we recommend starting:
- With your partner, take turns wearing the blindfold and talk about how it feels. Is it exciting, unusual, or something else entirely?
- If you’re playing solo, wear the blindfold and think about how it feels. You could write down your observations in a sex journal if you want to!
- Give your partner a massage while they’re wearing the blindfold (or ask them to give you one!). Starting with a massage means you can both get comfortable with the idea of giving and receiving physical touch while one of you is blindfolded. If you’re playing solo, give yourself a massage and take notice of the feelings you experience!
- Masturbate together with your partner (or alone) while one of you is wearing the blindfold (you could both be blindfolded for this, which could be super fun!). See what feels different and new about being intimate in this way while one of your senses is restricted.
- Incorporate the blindfold into oral or penetrative sex, or whatever you consider to be your ‘main event’. Take notice of how it changes the dynamic between yourself and your partner, and whether the physical feelings you experience are different or even heightened.
Ready for more?
If you’re really enjoying the blindfold and ready for something more advanced, here are five things you can do to take your pleasure to new heights. Don’t feel limited by our suggestions—treat these as jumping-off points, and get creative!
- Experiment with sensory deprivation. Combine the blindfold with earplugs or headphones to see how it feels to not be able to see or hear your partner. This can create some intense feelings of anticipation! You could also get playful by asking your partner to wear the blindfold while you offer them different things to smell or taste (yummy things only!), or wear the blindfold while you speak to them but don’t touch them.
- Incorporate restraints. Our Kink Kit comes with a pair of restraints—why not try them out? You can restrain one or both of your wrists or ankles, depending on your comfort level. Remember that if your partner is the one restrained, you should always seek their consent before and during restraining them, and you should stop immediately if they seem uncomfortable or tell you to stop.
- Try temperature play. Ask your partner to run an ice cube over your skin while you’re blindfolded, or apply something warm to your skin like heated massage oil or the back of a warm teaspoon. Candle wax can be a great choice for this, but we recommend looking specifically for candles designed for ‘wax play’. Their wax actually burns at a lower temperature, which is much safer. Remember that when playing with temperature, you shouldn’t aim for ‘hot’ or ‘cold’ things—go for ‘warm’ or ‘cool’, it’s much less likely to cause injury or pain.
- Bring out your favourite toy. If your partner is consenting, bring out their favourite sex toy and use it on them while they’re blindfolded. You can get creative here, too—tease them a little by running the toy up and down their thighs, lower arms, or around their butt.
- Dirty talk. Talk sensually to your partner while they’re blindfolded, and describe what you love about them and their body, what you’d like to do to them, and how much they turn you on. Gauge their comfort level—some people are cool with really explicit sexually-charged convos, while others might prefer to stick to sweet nothings only.
