Sexual Health

Everything you need to know about using a vibrator (and having an orgasm!) for the first time

Investing in your first vibrator and experiencing an orgasm for the first time is a truly life-changing experience.

Purchasing a sex toy allows you to have total control over your sexual pleasure — no matter where your sex life may be, being able to use a vibrator means you don't have to rely on anyone else to feel pleasure.

There are a few things to consider before you dive in to use a vibrator for the first time. With a range of sex toys to choose from, from internal vibrators to toys that focus on external zones, it can be a little intimidating to choose which is best for you.

But it doesn't have to be! And in fact, the first time using a vibrator should be fun and never daunting.

So, to help make this as easy and straightforward as possible, we've done the hard work for you. Below, you'll find a detailed list of some of the most common sex toys. These babies cater to a range of sexual preferences so whether you have a vulva or a penis, there really is something for everyone.

And, once you've chosen your brand new shiny toy, it's time to get to business. The best thing to do here is to keep your expectations low.

You're engaging in a brand new activity and the journey to experiencing an orgasm isn't always linear. Each body is different, so is the way it needs to be treated also differs.

Sex toy types and their sensations

 

Behold. A run-down of our favourite types of vibrators and their sensations. 

 

Clit vibrator 

clitoris vibrator


A clitoral vibrator (sometimes also known as a clit sucker or a suction vibrator) is designed for clitoral stimulation. 

These sex toys have gained popularity in recent years thanks to the ingenious use of air pressure, which pulses to stimulate the clitoris and the 8,000 nerve endings within it.

The sensation of a clit vibrator is similar to oral sex (truly amazing oral sex, we might add!) and is perfect for those who prefer external stimulation versus a penetrative vibrator.

Clitoral stimulation sex toys, like NORMAL's Quinn, can be used for solo play or with a partner. The compact nature of this vibe means that it can be used during sex or as a part of foreplay.

For many people with vulvas, clit stimulation is necessary to reach orgasm — with only 30 per cent of people finding vaginal stimulation enough to do so — and a clit sucker is the perfect toy for the job.

If you're new to the sex toy world, this is one of the best vibrators to start with as it's incredibly effective and easy to use.

To begin, locate your clitoris (which might be easier whilst lying down) by gently holding the labia open (the 'lips' around the vulva), then turn the vibrator on and hover it over your clit. If the feeling of the air pulsing is enjoyable, you can place the toy directly over your clit and begin to experiment with movement and vibration levels.

If you want to take it slightly slower, you could also try using the vibrator with underwear on. Lightly touching the device to your vulva over the top of your underwear can help you get acquainted with the motion before you move on to using it on the clitoris.

G-spot vibrator

g spot vibrator


As the name suggests, a G-spot vibrator is designed for internal stimulation as it targets the zone of sensitive tissue that forms part of the clitoris network in people with vulvas.

These sex toys are shaped like a wand but include a slight curve that is intended to apply pressure for G-spot stimulation and in turn, orgasm.

The vibrator replicates the feeling of penetrative sex, but toys like NORMAL's Darcy can also be used for external stimulation (for areas like the clit, vulva, perineum and anus).

This sex toy is pretty straightforward to use and is best paired with a water-based lubricant.

After warming up your body with external stimulation, gently insert the device a few inches and twist it so the head is making contact with the front of the vagina. Move the sex toy in a "come here" motion (like you would with your fingers), stroking the front wall of the vagina in the direction of your belly button.

NORMAL's Darcy includes three speeds and five vibration patterns, so experiment with different speeds and movements to find the most pleasurable position for you.

Bullet vibrator

bullet vibrator


Bullet vibrators
 are small, discreet and a staple in the sex toy world. Compared to rabbit or wand toys, the bullet vibrator is much more compact and is shaped similarly to its namesake.

The bullet gives you more control and is a great option for your first vibrator. The makeup of the bullet allows for specific stimulation and can be used across the body for external stimulation, including the clitoris, nipples or perineum, making it versatile for all people.

The bullet vibrator is great for solo use or with a partner and feels like you're being stroked.

NORMAL's Frankie is a modern twist on the traditional bullet and focuses vibration into the rounded point that can then be used on different erogenous zones. The slim, tapered design of the Frankie also lends itself to partnered sex and can fit easily between bodies or in your hand.

When using a bullet vibrator, try using different motions to discover what feels best for you. Try back and forth movements, circling motions or hold it horizontally to cover a larger area.

Experiment with the position of your body and move your hips to find your rhythm with the bullet. Lube can go a long way here.

Classic wand

classic wand vibrator


As far as sex toys go, chances are you've seen or heard of the classic wand vibrator. While this device was once marketed as a "personal massager" for the body, it is now a certified sex toy that is designed for external stimulation.

The classic, or as some people refer to it, the "magic wand" features a longer handle and has an oval-shaped head that can be concentrated on specific areas.

The beauty of the wand vibrator is its versatility, allowing you to use it for solo use or with a partner and it can pretty much stimulate every external erogenous zone — everything from your nipples to your neck and your genitals. NORMAL's Charlie wand vibrator is best used with water-based lubricant and lends itself to experimentation.

Move the vibrator in a back and forth motion on the erogenous zone, or try using a circle pattern while changing the vibration level on the device. Move the wand closer and further away from the sensitive area and change up the position of your body to find the most pleasurable angle.

Rabbit vibrator

rabbit vibrator


When it comes to the internal vibrator, the classic rabbit is one of the most recognisable — remember when Charlotte becomes addicted to her rabbit in Sex and the City?

This style of sex toy is lauded for its internal and external stimulation abilities thanks to the curbed wand shape coupled with a second arm.

This clever design means this device can externally target clitoral stimulation while also stimulating the vagina internally to create seriously intense and pleasurable orgasms.

The rabbit is designed for people with vulvas who are wanting to stimulate multiple erogenous zones at one time, including combined clitorial-vaginal stimulation and it can also be used when exploring the anal area.

NORMAL's Piper rabbit combines these techniques to make it feel like you're being touched on the outside while having penetrative sex.

The rabbit is best used with a water-based lubricant and when you're ready (and after your body is warmed up), gently ease the rabbit inside. Use the long arm of the rabbit to externally explore the vagina, while the shorter arm can be used to stimulate the clitoris and vulva for double the pleasure.

Experiment with the vibration levels on the device and move it back and forth as you discover what works for you and what doesn't.

If you're keen to explore anal play, you can use the shorter arm of a rabbit to do just that. Use the vibrating arm to stimulate the anus and perineum.

Remember to thoroughly clean your vibrator between using the sex toy anally and on other areas of your body.

Cock rings

cock ring


Designed for people with a penis, cock rings are circle-shaped external vibrators that are worn around the base of the penis, or in some cases, the testicles. 

They're sometimes used to help prolong and sustain erections, but the vibrating motion can also provide pleasure to the other partner's clitoris or anus during stimulation. These vibrators, which are also known as c-rings, can be used on the base of a dildo for penetrative stimulation as well.

This is a sex toy that provides pleasure for both parties involved and, if it's comfortable, you can move the ring around during penetration to find the best arousal spot for your partner.

NORMAL's Flynn cock ring can be used in a number of different positions, movements and with alternating vibration levels and some might also like using the device looped over the shaft and balls.

The Flynn shouldn't be used for more than half an hour, and while it will feel pleasurably tight, it shouldn't feel uncomfortable or cause any pain, numbness or colour changes in the penis.

If the skin is changing colour drastically or you're starting to feel any pain or discomfort, you should remove the ring.

Using a vibrator for the first time

 

When you bust your new vibrator out of the packaging for the first time, there's a few things you need to do before using it.

It's important to give your sex toy a thorough clean before its first use — each brand will have instructions on how to do this, but the easiest way is to use a dedicated sex toy cleaning spray like NORMAL's Toy & Hand Cleaning Spray.

Simply spray the solution onto the device, wait 20 seconds and wipe clean. Alternatively, you can also use mild soap and warm water to clean your vibrator.

The next step is to make sure your new toy is fully charged and ready to go. Most sex toys today include a rechargeable battery that can be charged via USB.

Plug it in and charge it up so you have the device has a full battery. Allow your toy to charge for at least two hours and make sure to charge it regularly to keep it in tip-top shape.

Now it's time to choose your lube. The two main styles of lubricant are silicone-based lube and water-based lube, with the latter being the most common. While lube isn't compulsory when using a sex toy, many people find it enhances the experience, so give it a go with and without and see what works best for you.

As for the type of lube you choose, water-based lube pairs well with toys, it doesn't stain clothes or sheets and is easy to wash off of yourself and the toy.

Silicone-based lube, on the other hand, has a silky feel and is better for longer sessions and can even be used in the bath or shower.

Determining which product works for you is a personal choice — both NORMAL's Silicone Based Lube and Water Based Lube are gentle formulas that are made without parabens while also being scent and taste-free.

water based lube

Set the mood

 

When using a vibrator for the first time, it's important to set the mood. You want to ensure that you have the best possible experience and getting yourself into the sexy zone can help that.

Whether you're using the vibrator solo or for partnered sex, the same things apply. It's most important that you feel comfortable in the situation.

Using a sex toy for the first time can make you feel a little nervous but it isn't at all difficult. It's all about finding what works for you and going with that.

If using a vibrator alone, make sure the place in which you are doing it is quiet and calm and you have adequate privacy. Trying to get yourself off when people are close by isn't a vibe and you don't want to be worrying about someone walking in on you.

Creating a safe, romantic and explorative space for you, or you and a partner, will help make the experience more pleasurable. Consider having a discussion with your partner beforehand about what you'd like to explore with the toy and how you'd like to use it in order to make sure you're both on board for the same experience.

At this stage, you might want to engage with some visual stimuli to get you in the mood. Pornography is often a good option, or you might want to try setting the scene with music, scent via candles or erotica.

Sometimes your own imagination is all it takes and can be very useful when engaging in solo pleasure. This is the time to dabble in whatever makes you hot!

Take the time to explore your body

 

Using a vibrator can be just as sensual of an experience as partnered sex. When using a toy for the first time, try not to rush the process and allow yourself to explore your body.

Warming up only adds to the experience, so take the time to figure out what you like and dislike. Some things will work and others won't and that's okay!

Before using your toy, try engaging with the other erogenous zones on the body. While these are different for everyone, some of the more common areas include the neck, inner thigh, breasts (and nipples!), lips and ears.

Feet also have pressure points that, when pressure is applied, increase blood flow and can positively enhance feelings of arousal. The more you know!

Try stimulating these areas with your hands, before moving on to other parts like the outer labia and clitoris or try your hand at anal play before moving on to areas like the penis and vagina.

All of these will elicit different sensations and allow you to learn which buttons to press on your body for the best results.

using a vibrator for the first time

Experiment with different sensations

 

When you first use a vibrator, you'll notice that the device (at least good ones) has different vibration settings as well as vibration patterns that allow you to control the feeling.

NORMAL's Piper, for example, has eight speeds with 12 vibration patterns, giving you total control over the intensity and feeling of the toy. When using a toy for the first time, spend a while getting to know the different settings.

Start on the lowest setting and work your way up through the different speeds to get a feeling of what works for you.

When things start to feel good, continue with this and allow yourself to really get lost in the moment and enjoy what's happening. Depending on whether you're using internal or external vibrators, and taking into consideration your own body, the time it takes to orgasm can vary.

Our advice is to slowly let it build; don't rush the process as the journey can be pretty damn good.

As the orgasm builds, continue to breathe through it and at this point, you might want to consider experimenting with edging. This involves bringing yourself (or a partner) close to the point of orgasm, before stopping or slowing the movement for up to 30 seconds before starting the motion again.

Some people experience a more intense orgasm when using edging, while you might simply enjoy the way the practice makes you more mindful as you take your body's cues to stop and restart.

Even if you do all of the above — including setting the scene and following the pleasure while using the toy — it's totally fine if you don't orgasm.

It's completely normal to do all the things in the world and it equalling an orgasm. There's nothing wrong with you, it might just be an off day, you're simply not feeling the vibe or you haven't discovered what gets you off.

It happens to everyone and isn't something to worry about. If you have any concerns, make an appointment to chat with your GP for more personalised advice.

Clean and store your vibrator

 

Once you've used your vibrator, it's time to clean it. While different vibrators might have varying cleaning instructions (and it's best to follow these), there are a few simple steps you can take.

You can wipe your vibrator over with warm water and gentle soap, otherwise, a toy spray is your best bet as it makes the process super simple.

After you've cleaned the device, let it air dry for a few hours to make sure all of the water has evaporated. Now, it's time to store your vibrator somewhere dry and cool — and preferably in reach of your bed.

When you purchase a toy from NORMAL, you'll also receive a complimentary collection bag where you can store your vibrator.

The beauty about these bags is that one side is a plain, subtle colour while the other side features a colourful print, so you can decide if you'd prefer to keep your toy in loud or discreet packaging.

Pop this bag into your bedside table, or in your cupboard for easy access when you're ready to use it again.

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